Matthew Watt is our newest staff writer for MMA-Analyst.com.
In life we all go through hardships. Yes, that may sound cliché as “what goes up must come down”, but it is the truth. We have all been there, at the bottom rung, wondering when things will improve. Hell I was just there. Leland approached me in December to contribute to his website, but at that time I was going through a severe bout of depression. I was in no condition to finally combine two of my loves: MMA and writing. As much as I wanted to have my work posted for others to read (and rip apart), mentally I was just unable to.
Time has passed since Leland’s offer and I can now say with confidence that I am in the best state I have ever been in quite some time. No, to get here was not easy, it involved working with psychiatrists, reading numerous books, regularly attending the gym, and opening myself back up to my closest friends. Seemingly impossible steps to take when your view yourself as a worthless loser. However, the work has been more then worth it, and I wake up everyday realizing how lucky I am and how much I love myself. Yes, horribly corny, cheesy statements to tell myself, but they are the absolute truth.
So when the soap-opera of Paulo Filho pulling out, not pulling out, then finally pulling out of his title defense against Chael Sonnen unfolded, the story was one I just had personally witnessed first-hand. All the signs of depression are there. There is the realization that things have hit rock bottom and something must be done (Filho’s initial drop out). Then there is the sudden spurt of feeling better, maybe you are just going over a little blip, and can get on with things, best summed up by this:
"He went through some personal issues, and he basically pulled everything together," Soares said. Training at the Black House gym in Rio de Janeiro, Filho has been preparing with Ricardo Arona (Pictures) and Rafael Feijao. Soares said UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva will join the training camp on March 17.
On Wednesday, Filho (16-0) told Brazilian MMA Web site Tatame: "I wasn't on a good moment, had depression but I'm rising now and the Americans forced me to fight now. I'm not afraid of winning or losing, but I wasn't motivated to train, wasn't training well, so I decided to do what the contract says and transferred the fight to June."
Lastly, there is the final letdown, where you get over your initial spurt of sunshine, and hit bottom so hard you know there is no way you can overcome this on your own:
"We tried our best with Filho, but it didn't work and he'll not fight in the WEC," Guimaraes said. "He tried with all his effort to accomplish the title defense, but he realized he couldn't do it due to chemical dependence and depression. He knew this kind of stuff does not have a link with the sport, and I'm happy he had a conscience and looked for help." Filho had disappeared for two days, causing immense concern for his teammates and Guimaraes. He ended up checking himself into a rehabilitation clinic in Niteroi, Brazil. Guimaraes couldn't say for certain how long Filho will stay under treatment, but he suggested the fighter will stay at the clinic until he is 100 percent. Filho is feeling better, Guimares said, after 48 hours of treatment. Guimaraes declined comment on the root of Filho's chemical dependence.
"The WEC staff was superb with us," the manager added. "They understood the situation, and Filho will return and defend his belt in June. Filho also realized who his real friends are, and he took this lesson seriously. He'll come back victorious from this tough moment and he will be supported, as mentioned, by his real friends."
Where Filho is at now is a place I wish no man to go. No, not being in a mental health facility, but rather where his state of mind is. Luckily for him, he took the right steps, and reaching out for help from others is exactly what he had to do. It is never easy to admit that you have depression, but realizing where you are at and that something must be done is the first step in winning the battle.
From Filho’s struggles two questions immediately spring to mind. There is questioning that due to their line of work, are MMA fighters more prone to mental problems then the normal being? Filho is not the first talented fighter to have personal issues. There's Mark Kerr, Ricco Rodriguez, and most recently the extremely sad story of Ryan Gracie, all showcasing that there are a lot of fighters who’s biggest opponent may not be the standing across from them, but instead the personal demons they must fight once the bout is over. But still, does the line of work of being a fighter leave you prone to mental issues?
I say no. Yes, being and MMA fighter is extremely demanding on your body and mind, but everyone has large demands on their life. It could be running after kids, making rent, being laid off, finishing the essay on time, everyone in society has commitments pulling them in directions they don’t want to go. So just to say that since fighters partake in a sport that requires a grueling preparation process, that this must also make them more susceptible to personal problems is a statement without fact. Filho himself stated there is not link between his issues and the sport. Fighters are as much human as you and me, that they too go through the ups and downs that we all struggle with, and that over time they finally figure things out through trial and error, just like everyone else.
Secondly, what is the timeline on Filho coming back? In the above article that speaks about Filho pulling out of the Sonnen fight for good, Filho’s manager Jorge Guimaraes states that Filho will take time off and come back to fight in June. From the perspective of someone who has just overcome a bout of depression, this concerns me. Filho most likely has gone into a 30-day program (I do not know the exact timeline at all, this is just a guess), so he would be out of rehab around mid-April. With the timeline for his next bout in June, this would leave Filho with only a month and a half, two month window to get ready for his next bout. Is it really in Filho’s best interest to get out of counseling and straight into training? To me at least, the answer is a resounding “No!”. Filho should walk away from the sport for a while, take time off, get his priorities straight, and come back when he is ready. Yes, I understand he has a commitment he made to the WEC he must fulfill, but what is more important in the grand scale of things? Is it really fighting in the WEC? I think not. No, Filho’s best priority right now is himself, and I think he would be best served if he came back on his own timetable, not the WEC’s. Hopefully Filho and his team see it that way too.